Book Rating (97)
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Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - And Keep - Love

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,

Walter Dixon

7 Hours 11 Minutes

Gildan Media

December 2010

Audio Book Summary

Is there a science to love?

In this groundbreaking audio book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Amir Levine and psychologist Rachel S. F. Heller reveal how an understanding of attachment theory-the most advanced relationship science in existence today-can help us find and sustain love. Attachment theory forms the basis for many bestselling books on the parent/child relationship, but there has yet to be an accessible guide to what this fascinating science has to tell us about adult romantic relationships-until now.

Attachment theory owes its inception to British psychologist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who in the 1950s examined the tremendous impact that our early relationships with our parents or caregivers has on the people we become. Also central to attachment theory is the discovery that our need to be in a close relationship with one or more individuals is embedded in our genes.

In Attached, Levine and Heller trace how these evolutionary influences continue to shape who we are in our relationships today. According to attachment theory, every person behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways:

*ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back.

*AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.

*SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.

Attached guides listeners in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mates) follow. It also offers readers a wealth of advice on how to navigate their relationships more wisely given their attachment style and that of their partner. An insightful look at the science behind love, Attached offers listneers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.

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Reviews

  • Michele L

    This has been a very helpful book for me, I would say honestly life changing. I may have accidentally only given it one star- hope this isn’t the case, it deserves 5 stars and I like the narrator too. This book helps even if you are anxious-avoidant (they don’t include this category but you can get a lot from the other three: “secure,” “anxious,” and “avoidant.”) I really don’t have the words right now to explain how much this has cleared up for me and what a relief it has been to find and now own. I think it can help anyone take huge steps toward and into security, and can provide a ton of comfort and clarity and new ideas and options for anxious types or anyone with any level of relational pain and anxiety. So worth it, it is already helping me.

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  • Laura Ayers

    Very interesting listen! I learned so much about myself and past/present partners. I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys the psychology of human behavior and relationships.

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  • Susannah T.

    Life changing. So many mysteries of why I’ve been getting relationships so wrong when the men I’ve dated seem to each be so different - they are all AVOIDANT. And I am ANXIOUS. But most importantly-not mad- and not imagining he feelings I’ve felt for so many years. What a relief. It’s given me the courage to exit a toxic relationship and start considering SECURE men who may not make me anxious but might actually bring me security and happiness. Thank you,

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  • Melina Semple

    Amazed how clear and precise is the explanation of the different attachments types; if you want to understand yourself in a better way this is a great book to start.

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  • Paola T.

    Best book to understand love and why we behave the way we do

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