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Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life

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Emily Nagoski

11 Hours 52 Minutes

Simon & Schuster Audio

June 2015

Audio Book Summary

An essential exploration of why and how women’s sexuality works—based on groundbreaking research and brain science—that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.

Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a “pink pill” for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never be the answer—but as a result of the research that’s gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women’s sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all.

The first lesson in this essential, transformative book by Dr. Emily Nagoski is that every woman has her own unique sexuality, like a fingerprint, and that women vary more than men in our anatomy, our sexual response mechanisms, and the way our bodies respond to the sexual world. So we never need to judge ourselves based on others’ experiences. Because women vary, and that’s normal.

Second lesson: sex happens in a context. And all the complications of everyday life influence the context surrounding a woman’s arousal, desire, and orgasm.

Cutting-edge research across multiple disciplines tells us that the most important factor for women in creating and sustaining a fulfilling sex life, is not what you do in bed or how you do it, but how you feel about it. Which means that stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it. Once you understand these factors, and how to influence them, you can create for yourself better sex and more profound pleasure than you ever thought possible.

And Emily Nagoski can prove it.

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  • Erin P.

    Absolutely wonderful! Emily has completely changed the way I approach my sexuality. As a survivor of sexual abuse and someone who has spent their whole life wondering.... “what’s wrong with me?”...this book has given me permission to talk, think and read about sex. Thank you, Emily, I can never thank you enough. To all women out there... and to all men as matter how you identify, this book is for you. Read this book or listen to it, it will change your life. I am currently reading it now for the third time bc I want to understand everything.

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  • Nathan A

    hopefully the screen play does the book justice

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  • Jennie G.

    This book is amazing. I love it so much I’ve recommended it to all my lady friends. I feel like the messages conveyed in this book should be shared with even men who have daughters. This book has prompted me to love myself and since I’ve started doing that I’ve started to want to take care of myself. It’s changing my life by changing my thinking. Let’s talk about the narration. When I saw the author was the narrator my first thought was, “oh no.” When authors narrate their books it’s usually flat. You can tell Emily really believes this. She reads it like she believes it. He narration was fun and inflection was perfect.

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  • Constance L.

    Really wonderful book ❤️ delivers exactly what it promises

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  • Danielle M.

    opened my eyes to a lot of things

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  • Brad H.

    What a revolutionary read! A must for couples and women in general should be issued in schools too!

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