Searching for: "Stephen Clarke"

  • Stephen Clarke

    An urban antidote to A Year in Provence, Stephen Clarke's book is a laugh-out-loud account of a year in the life of an expat in Paris- for Francophiles and Francophobes alike A YEAR IN THE MERDE is the almost-true account of the author's adventures as an expat in Paris. Based loosely on his own experiences and with names changed to 'avoid embarrassment, possible legal action and to prevent the author's legs being broken by someone in a Yves Saint Laurent suit (or quite possibly, a Christian Dior skirt), ' A YEAR IN THE MERDE is the story of a Paul West, a 27-year-old Brit who is brought to Paris by a French company to open a chain of British 'tea rooms.' He soon becomes immersed in the...read more

  • Stephen Clarke

    Published in the 200th Anniversary year of the Battle of Waterloo a witty look at how the French still think they won, by Stephen Clarke, author of 1000 Years of Annoying the French and A Year in the Merde. Two centuries after the Battle of Waterloo, the French are still in denial. If Napoleon lost on 18 June 1815 (and that's a big 'if'), then whoever rules the universe got it wrong. As soon as the cannons stopped firing, French historians began re-writing history. The Duke of Wellington was beaten, they say, and then the Prussians jumped into the boxing ring, breaking all the rules of battle. In essence, the French cannot bear the idea that Napoleon, their greatest-ever national...read more

  • Stephen Clarke

    Brought to you by Penguin. Was the Battle of Hastings a French victory? Non! William the Conqueror was Norman and hated the French. Were the Brits really responsible for the death of Joan of Arc? Non! The French sentenced her to death for wearing trousers. Was the guillotine a French invention? Non! It was invented in Yorkshire. Ten centuries' worth of French historical 'facts' bite the dust as Stephen Clarke looks at what has really been going on since 1066 ... © Stephen Clarke 2010 (P) Penguin Audio...read more

  • Stephen Clarke

    Englishman Paul West is living the Parisian dream, and doing his best not to annoy the French. But recently things have been going très wrong: His apartment is so small that he has to cut his baguettes in two to fit them in the kitchen. His research into authentic French cuisine is about to cause a national strike. His Parisian business partner is determined to close their tea-room. And thinks that sexually harrassing his female employees is a basic human right. And Paul's gorgeous ex-girlfriend seems to be stalking him. Threatened with eviction, unemployment and bankrupcy, Paul realises that his personal merde factor is about to hit the...read more

  • Stephen Clarke

    What are the French really like? Paul West, a young Englishman arriving in Paris to start a new job, is about to find out. They do eat a lot of cheese, some of which smells like pigs’ droppings. They don’t wash their armpits with garlic soap. Going on strike really is the second national participation sport after petanque. And, yes, they do use suppositories. Less quaint than A Year in Provence, less chocolatey than Chocolat, A Year in the Merde will tell you how to get served by the grumpiest Parisian waiter; how to make perfect vinaigrette every time; how to make amour - not war; and how not to buy a house in the French...read more

  • Stephen Baxter

    The Light of Other Days tells the tale of what happens when a brilliant, driven industrialist harnesses the cutting edge of quantum physics to enable people everywhere, at trivial cost, to see one another at all times: around every corner, through every wall, into everyone''s most private, hidden, and even intimate moments. It amounts to the sudden and complete abolition of human privacy - forever. Then, as society reels, the same technology proves able to look backwards in time as well. Nothing can prepare us for what this means. It is a fundamental change in the terms of the human...read more

  • Ramsey Campbell

    'Weeds' by Stephen King: When a meteorite lands on his property, Jordy Verrill envisions an easy payday. Unfortunately for Jordy, this is no ordinary rock-and the uncompromising force inside has found its first target. 'The Price You Pay' by Kelley Armstrong: Never pay more than you owe. Sounds like easy advice to follow. But for Kara and her childhood friend Ingrid, some debts can never be repaid . . . especially those tendered in blood. 'Magic Eyes' by Bill Pronzini: Edward James Tolliver has found a weary sort of asylum among the insane. He knows he's not one of them-but how can he tell anyone about the invaders without sounding that way? 'Murder in Chains' by Simon Clark:...read more

  • Stephen Baxter

    Returned to the Earth of 2037 by the Firstborn, mysterious beings of almost limitless technological prowess, Bisesa Dutt is haunted by the memories of her five years spent on the strange alternate Earth called Mir, a jigsaw-puzzle world made up of lands and people cut out of different eras of Earth’s history. Why did the Firstborn create Mir? Why was Bisesa taken there and then brought back on the day after her original disappearance? Bisesa’s questions receive a chilling answer when scientists discover an anomaly in the sun’s core—an anomaly with no natural cause, evidence of alien intervention over two thousand years before. Now, plans set in motion millennia ago...read more

  • Stephen Baxter

    For eons, Earth has been under observation by the Firstborn, beings almost as old as the universe itself. The Firstborn are unknown to humankind—until they act. In an instant, Earth’s timeline is carved up and reassembled into a patchwork of different eras, from prehistory to the year 2037, each with its own indigenous inhabitants. Scattered across the planet are floating silver orbs impervious to all weapons and impossible to communicate with. Are these technologically advanced devices responsible for creating and sustaining the rifts in time? Are they cameras through which inscrutable alien eyes are watching? Or are they something stranger and more terrifying still? The only...read more