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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please: Essays

Unabridged Audio Book

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Tom Segura

6 Hours 4 Minutes

Hachette Book Group USA

June 2022

Audio Book Summary

From Tom Segura, the massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra. 
In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet. 
I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.  

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  • Anonymous

    loved listening to this and Tom's ability to tell a good story and make you laugh.

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  • Ricky L.

    Absolutely awesome..

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  • Bill C.

    Excellent book and excellent listen Tom makes his stories fun to listen to even if some aren’t are good as others still a fun time

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  • Emily C.

    was hoping to hear about where the bodies are buried.

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  • Anonymous

    Keep those jeans high and tight, mommies

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  • Tanisha H.

    I love his comedy specials, and I'm happy I listened to his book instead of just reading it. I could listen to him all day <3

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  • Anonymous

    Most of the content is without a doubt stolen Valor, but it's amazing to think that Tod actually knows how to write something other than he's name. Good job dunk champ.

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  • Juan G.

    100% Worth the time to listen . Where are the bodies Garth? Touch my camera through the fence you F…t. Keep Feathering it. Keep it high and tight.

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  • Ryan P.

    Hilarious and a great listen! Stellar job Bert!

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  • Craig R.

    Absolutely phenomenal!!! great one to listen to and was amazing!

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